The Ghosts of Families Past, Present and Future
by rhapsodybree
Summary: One particular inebriated evening, Jack Donaghy is visited by visions of not two, but three, women in "A Christmas Carol"-style fic orchestrated by his, wait for it, mother.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own creations.

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As the moonlight shone weakly into his office, Jack Donaghy heaved a sigh of satisfaction, clasped his glass of scotch and eased back into his chair.

Life was good.

When the room suddenly went black he wasn't too fazed, more annoyed if anything as he took another sip of his drink. "Jonathon!" he called out.

He expected his eager secretary to come dashing through the wooden doors and was ill prepared for when a figure materialised before him as if they had literally come through the door.

"Wow, this is powerful stuff!" he said to himself, looking down at his drink.

Looking up, he found the 'ghost' was now in front of his desk and he recognised the female. "Colleen?" he exclaimed, dropping his glass. The liquid staining the carpet was the last thing on his mind though as he looked at his transparent mother.

"You're going to be visited by three visions tonight," the monotone voice began. "May they lead to your path of transformation."

"No, seriously," Jack laughed, just bordering on hysteria. "You're making me Ebenezer Scrooge? Who's Tiny Tim?"

"Stop interrupting me Jackie," the ghost snapped, and he could have sworn his mother was right there. "You're going for a ride tonight, so buckle up, pay attention, and for god's sake, may something good come of it."

She was gone and the lights came back on instantly. Momentarily blinded, he shook his head as he chuckled to himself. He really needed to think about basing future ghosts on a much more likable form in the future. Angelina Jolie perhaps.

Reaching for tissues, he began to dab at the floor when the lights suddenly began flickering...

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Next chapter:

The Past_____._


	2. The Past

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own creations.

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Jack Donaghy woke up suddenly in an unfamiliar place.

Blinking, he looked at his surroundings and concluded that he was in a study of sorts. Looking at the desk before him, he saw an official looking document that worryingly held no reference to any form of NBC and at closer inspection he saw another tab that was, if his memory hadn't failed him, porn.

Standing up from the desk, he startled when he heard a baby's cry. He was momentarily bemused and uncertain of what to do before a noise carried toward him. "Pick him up!" cried a worried voice.

"Nancy?" he thought to himself incredulously. "Donovan?"

Frozen to the spot as he struggled to process just what the hell was happening to him, he soon realised that he obviously wasn't reacting quick enough as Nancy was in the study doorway just moments later holding a baby in her arms.

"How many times have I told you!" the redhead cried as she jostled the baby. "We can't leave him crying and wanting!"

The objection was already in his mouth. "A little crying never hurt anyone."

"Jack!" cried Nancy, mortified as she clutched the baby closer to her. "You cannot leave Alistair to cry. You could scar him for life!"

"Alistair?" he couldn't help asking.

"Yes!" shot back the fuming Nancy. "Your son!"

"My son?" he repeated dumbly. _Had he fallen and suffered amnesia? _"When did that happen?" he blurted out.

"Eight months, one week and six days ago," said Nancy exasperatedly, giving him a second of her attention as she calmed the baby that was frankly more than okay.

_Oh. _

"Now I need to prepare his dinner, so please mind him for the next half an hour," ordered Nancy as she transferred the baby over then pulled back just out of reach. "Don't leave him alone," she warned. "He can't have fears of abandonment."

"I hardly think being ignored will have such an effect," Jack snorted, as he took the baby and leaned in for a kiss, but she turned away before it landed and he kissed air. "I need to find the sanitising gel."

Jack was dazed as he looked at the crisply dressed boy, looking spicky specky clean in his arms. Following Nancy somewhat dumbly he saw her wiping down the kitchen surfaces with mad determination. He felt sorry for any germ that dared remain.

She didn't even look up when she spoke next. "Don't just stand there," she chastised, scrubbing at a particularly stubborn foodstuff. "Play with him. Maybe do a jigsaw, but make sure you help him finish it so he doesn't feel inadequate."

Sitting with the child in his lap as Alistair smacked wooden pieces against the jigsaw base shortly after, Jack had a mind full of questions, but Nancy began to speak once again as she tied on her crisp white apron. "I was talking to your mother earlier today..."

"Why?" he interrupted incredulously.

"You should have more respect for your mother," she scolded. The pointed look he flashed her showed he was less than impressed, but she ignored him and carried on. "We were discussing what solids would be best to start Allie on."

"Allie?" he mouthed. He had always sworn that no child of his was going to be called that suffix. He had suffered long enough as Jackie and no offspring of his should have to suffer too.

Dinner was a blur and all that was required of him was to eat, leave the room, kiss his 'son' good night and then watch the television.

Slipping into bed after the baby was finally down, he reached for Nancy thinking that the one good thing that could come out of this funky journey his ghost mother was sending him on was to see how good the sex is. As his hands clasped her hips and he pulled her back against him, she shrugged him off. "Not tonight Jackie," mumbled Nancy. "I'm too tired."

He barely felt the horror before the lights began to flicker...

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**Author's Note**: This is written to be set before the revelation of Avery's actual pregnancy on 30 Rock.

_Next chapter: _The Present.


	3. The Present

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own creations.

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The blackness began to clear and Jack Donaghy found himself looking at the sweet figure of his favourite broadcaster. Avery stood perfectly posed in a floor length dress, a blonde haired toddler on her hip as she talked into her mobile.

Now this looked more his speed!

The phone call ended and her eyes set on him. "Are you ready?"

Looking down at his penguin suit he realised he was most likely very much ready, but not entirely sure what exactly he was ready for. "Ready for what?" he asked bemused. "Where are we going?" he added with a nod in the direction of the towheaded boy.

Avery laughed. "We are going somewhere, but he is not." She turned and Jack saw a previously unseen woman step forward. "Take Henry please."

The child went easily without a glance in his direction as Jack's eyes followed his son from this 'reality'. "Oh," he smiled. "Parents' night out hey?"

"What are you talking about?" laughed the sophisticated woman. "We never take him out with us." She paused to bend down and touch up her lipstick at the mirror. "Maybe when he's older. Much older," she shuddered, "but for now, we have a dinner date and then I have a live broadcast."

She fiddled with her dress as she rose and he was aroused as she pressed her breasts together, surveying herself in the full length mirror on the wardrobe door. "By the way, your mother called earlier today. Damn woman got past caller id."

"Oh, what now?" he replied immediately, sagging back in his chair.

"Precisely what I said," agreed Avery irately as she picked up her clutch and checked its contents. "We really need to see about getting her into a new old people's home." She snapped the clutch shut as she turned with a devious look. "Australia maybe?"

Jack grinned. "I like how your mind thinks."

The peck on the cheek and the butt slap that followed spoke millions.

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Stepping out of the limo solo just under four hours later, Jack looked up at the impressive facade of their place. Tugging his bow tie free, he smirked as he recalled dinner. Well, entree, dinner, dessert then a little, ah, supper in the back of the limo as they headed to the CNN headquarters.

Let it just be said: the sex had not changed.

Slapping his gloves against his thigh, he walked up the steps to the front door. Stepping through the door, Henry Donaghy - his son from the 'reality' - came to his mind once again and he headed up the stairs. Intrigued, he searched for the boy's room and stepped in. Looking into the cot, he found himself contemplating life with a son.

He sensed someone enter the room and turning he realised he had scared the nanny. "Oh I am so sorry sir," the young woman apologised. "I was just checking in on Henry."

"I see," he replied, backing away as his employee proficiently tucked in the blankets around the slumbering toddler.

"I didn't expect to um, well, see you in here," said the nanny next as she stood next to the cot, hand protectively resting on the wooden rail.

Why ever not? "How long have you been working for us?" he asked spur of the moment, a sudden desire to know.

The look was full of love as she turned to Henry. "Two years and five months," she said softly. "You employed me the day after you brought him home from hospital." The woman looked at Jack as she spoke next hastily. "You and the Madam being so busy that is."

"I'm not around much am I?" said Jack softly in a moment of realisation. He saw her hesitation to reply and shook off what would be a painful answer for her with a hand. "I got it."

Stepping forward for one last look into the cot, the lights began flickering once again.

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_Next chapter: _The Future.


	4. The Future

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own creations.

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Opening his eyes, Jack Donaghy found himself looking up at the familiar roof of his office. His relief at returning back to the 'real' world was only momentary as he felt that something was distinctly wrong. First of all, it was daytime. Second, his scotch was gone. And last of all, there was a baby thing next to him.

Was there a third future?

He'd expected to be done. After all, his dilemma was currently split between Nancy and Avery right? Struggling upright from his comfy position, the door opened and he saw his best friend come through, frazzled as usual.

"Lemon!" he exclaimed, sensing normality. If she was here, then everything was okay. "You'll never believe what happened to me…" His voice trailed off.

"Jack," came the tired reply as Lemon placed a baby in his arm, said infant instantly grabbing his shirt collar and gumming it. "I'm running really late. Torah's due for her nap." Two other young children dashed in the door, one heading for his couch and the other wrapping her arms around his legs. "Kismet didn't eat her lunch and Milla'll need a nappy change soon."

_Where had they come from?_

He found himself incapable of words as his eyes took in the three little girls. He was ill-prepared for when Liz stepped in and cupped his cheek. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips that he found strangely fulfilling before she dumped a bag next to the couch and turned to leave. "Back in about an hour."

She left.

He needed to lie down. Never mind three kids, he'd had three _girls _with Lemon? He doesn't remember how, but he managed to shuffle over to the couch, with one kid in his arms and another around his legs, and avoid sitting on the kid already there.

With the baby that was Torah sprawled across his chest, he flipped his legs over the edge and struggled to find his breath. He was surprised at how comfortably the toddler previously on the couch clambered up onto him and propped herself up against his legs, playing with his shoe laces.

He didn't have long to focus on her though as the eldest girl – presumably _his _eldest daughter – came into his line of sight with an intent look on her face. He could see the Lemon in her. "I'm hungry Daddy," came the lispy voice. "Can I have a lollipop?"

It was on the tip of tongue to just reply 'yes', but some other part of his brain beat him to it. "Sorry sweetheart," he said in what was a surprisingly very responsible tone. "You didn't finish your lunch and you know what that means."

"But Daddy…" protested the youngster and Jack surprised even himself by standing firm. "No."

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Torah was sleeping in the bouncer (that baby contraption beside the couch), he'd somehow managed to change a diaper and dispose it out of the window, whereby Milla was now pants-free as she sat with blocks that had come out from under his desk, and Kismet was on his lap, her anger long gone as she pointed out the various animals and colours from the book, when he sensed company.

Liz flopped down beside him on the couch as Kismet leaned over to plant a slobbery kiss on her mother's cheek then slide to the floor to play with her sister. Lemon propped her head up on the back of the couch with an ill-disguised yawn as she offered him a square of paper that held a grainy image, a ring glinting in the light. "We'll need to book our mothers in for babysitting again."

He pushed aside the uncertainty of what that paper and diamond meant to fire back a sure retort. "Your mother sure, but are you sure you want my venomous matriarch?" Lemon responded with the very smallest of rolled eyes. "She did a perfectly good job last time Jack."

_Last time?_ his mind squeaked as his thoughts came back to this, ah, situation. "Goodness," his 'wife' muttered next. "Four under four."

_He and Lemon really needed to stop procreating. _

He opened his mouth to speak but then the blasted lights began flickering again.

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_Next chapter: _Epilogue_._


	5. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own creations.

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Jack Donaghy flew awake, his heartbeat off the charts. Gasping for breaths, and feeling like he'd just been on a roller coaster, which in some ways, he had, he had a feeling he was about to put a psychologist on speed dial. Looking around slightly fearfully, he almost had a heart attack when he found Jonathon looking at him intently from the floor. "You rang sir?" the assistant said eagerly as he patted at the stained carpet.

_Right. The scotch. _

Jack mumbled something that might have resembled a reply as he lurched up from his chair and dashed for the door. Knowing he was back in his time wasn't helping things. He almost tripped over his own feet and froze in the spot when his office door suddenly flew open.

Liz Lemon dashed through with a clipboard in her hand. Slamming the doors shut behind her, she braced herself against the wood. "Nancy and Avery are _both_ on their way up and your mother is on the phone," she said breathlessly, holding out a previously unseen mobile. "You really need to make up your mind Jack."

_This was all happening too fast. _

He was speechless. "And why are you looking at me that way?" she concluded, her brow furrowing just that way as she thrust the phone out to him once again, a loud knocking sound coming from behind her. The doors threatened to open and Lemon threw the phone at him as she turned and pressed her palms at the door. "Do something Jack!" she cried.

Allowing the phone to fall to the ground – it was only Colleen after all – Jack looked back toward his desk where he could see Jonathon's suit-clad bottom high in the air as he scrubbed fiercely at the stain on the carpet. _Yep, this was his reality. _He turned back to the door and found himself face to face with two very angry women as Liz retreated off to the side in safety, hugging her clipboard to her chest.

He took a moment to view them all – visions of his ghostly past, present and future – and was still somehow wordless. _Grow a pair,_ his inner self ordered. He wasn't so sure who was doing the orders next though when he walked straight past the yelling Nancy and Avery and pulled Lemon into his arms.

Shocked, the writer didn't respond for a few seconds before she reciprocated. Her arms went around his neck and the pain of the clipboard hitting his back didn't bother him as he furthered the thoroughly enjoyable enterprise.

Parting, Lemon blinked and he was struck by how brown her eyes were. "If you just did that for show," she warned, raising her finger, "I know where you live." He refused to let her back out of his grip as her nervousness set in and predictably she couldn't shut up. Pressing his lips to hers, he found he now had a new way to silence her. "Well, that explains one thing," said Liz faintly when they parted once again. "Colleen was right. I have already met the man in my life."

Colleen._ His mother. _"Why are we doing this?" he asked, somewhat unable to believe it.

"I have no idea," replied Liz as she threw the clipboard onto the floor and pulled him in once again. Jack hitched one of her legs around his knee and pulled her flush against him as they made out.

Nancy stormed out with a promise that she would never see him again, Avery stormed out with a promise that his career would be done and Colleen's voice came up from the ground on the abandoned mobile that if someone didn't start speaking to her soon, she promised they'd all regret it. "Unless Jackie's chosen that is," she added gleefully.

Behind them all, Jonathon's jaw dropped.

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_Finito._


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